"The Soccer Motivator"

I have a lazy daughter.  Okay, she's not lazy.  She just won't play soccer like my brain telepathically begs her to from the sidelines.  To her "soccer" means: chasing butterflies, finding flowers and avoiding gopher holes that might house a real gopher.

So I finally told her, my little Meg, I’d give her a quarter every time she kicked the ball.
 
It didn’t work.

I then told her I’d get her ice cream if she kicked the ball 5 times.

That didn't work either.

One day while cleaning out the garage and Meg discovered the huge box of toys I was donating to Good Will.  Even though she didn't even play with these toys anymore, she was so upset she wanted to keep them all.

Hmmm...I finally had a decent bargaining tool.  So I told her, "Do well at your game Saturday and can keep whatever you want."

At Saturdays game, they lost.  Immediately Meg ran up to me and in front of all the other parents shouted, “Mom!  Do I still get to keep my toys????”

Days later people are still talking about the 'cruel Mother.'

Oh well.  No "Mother of the Year" this year.