Friday, March 30, 2012

Dear Moms of Boys....

"I hate my mother-in-law..." 
Well, that's what I used to say till some type of Alzheimers set in making her quite the happy, forget-what-daughter-in-law-did-wrong-now, person.

But if all girls want to spend time with their own Moms, when do the Husband Mom's win?

She doesn't.

Course this topic never concerned me.....till two of my three kids came out as BOYS. Suddenly I'm concerned. Now, I know it's not fair that that most husbands blow off their own Mom just to make wifey-poo happy. It's smart for the marriage, but not fair to the 'boys' Mom who endured years of hell raising that kid for him to just....leave her?

Now I"m thinking about my own grown-ups, where will they spend their holidays? With the girlfriend? The wife? Will they even invite me over when that first grandbaby is born? Will they call? Write? Text? Will I even know?

I have a girlfriend who spends every single summer with her Mother-in-law. Often times without her husband (M-I-L's son)! Why? M-I-L has a summer home on a lake!!!

Where do her boys beg to go every summer? The lake! To see Grandma on Dad's side!
Grandma years for me may be a long way off....but not the plan to get something in place that future grandkids will want to visit!

I chuckled as I attempted to brainwash my youngest last weekend. I rubbed his temples and spoke that slow scary deep cadence, "When you grow up and move out, you will call and visit me..."

Visibly laughing my five year old boy crawled away from me and pointed to his temple, "If I don't, you'll always be in here."
My mouth dropped.  Maybe it's hopeless work against built-in man-genetics?

Just then the phone rang. My M-I-L wanted to know if we could come to her house for Christmas this year.

I paused. Gave it two seconds of deep constructive thought and said, "My mom already asked us this year...maybe you all could come to their house too?"

It wasn't the Christmas I imagined but how could I expect my boys to remember to invite me when I didn't invite 'her?'

....I guess if I'm lucky I'll be dead before all the chaos.

Monday, March 19, 2012

How NOT To Refinance with a Crappy Bank

I hate banks!

In trying to refinance our mortgage, I can't.   Our house value has fallen below that 80/20.   I'm still hopeful a bank out there will lend a girl with an over 800 credit score cash, right? 

You would think? 

Even our current mortgage company, CitiBank, that has our mortgage doesn't treat me like a loyal-paying-on-time-customer. No, to refinance, they want us to go through the whole process as if we were a brand new customer.

I said, "You already have our loan! So I don't leave your bank, can't you just lower our rate!"

"Nooo...."  Cause then they'd be giving up my high percentage loan for a lower rate loan.  That's sweet for the customer but stupid for the bank trying to make $$ off me. 

So I've been emailing random lenders.  Here is the response from a local bank in my town, Manhattan Beach, CA.  

Thanks for the email….

You will be unable to get a loan with no equity….Government is only helping out on the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac loans….You have 3 options:
·         Try and negotiate with your current lender
·         Call an attorney for assistance… might have to stop making payments and ruin your credit…I have a great attorney for this…with good results…
·         Wait until values come back “which could be a long time” and then refinance….

Oh.  Okay.  So he advises me to stop paying my mortgage, be delinquent on my loan, ruin my credit and THEN the government will help me refinance and get a better loan?

Wow.  That's the best stupidest advice I've ever had!!  I ache for people that listen to him....   

Why can't banks help people who have excellent credit and pay bills on time?

Hmm....I hate to say it, "That's the America way!"

If you have thoughts, advice or the will to pass this post onto a newspaper or some intelligent person who could get it to another person that could do something about this mortgage-problem-for-good-Americans-that-pay-their-bills, let me know here or at

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Best Ant Farm EVER!

I'm not a fan of ants. They make me uneasy. If I see one on the floor, I freak. If I see one in my house, I'm known to squeal like a baby. Cause I know they travel in packs. Well, long lines-of-friends-packs. If there is one...there are thousands....zillions!

But I think they are cool to watch. I had an Ant Farm when I was a kid and watching my own kids experience an Ant Farm was a real treat and worth double the $29.99 I paid for the package!

They are very interesting to watch. If I find a line of them heading somewhere, I'll often stop to spit a huge hunk of siliva just to see what they do now that a giant 'flood' has blocked their path. That I find facinating. Cause they are outside in their world.

Then I saw this video below. It is truly one of the COOLEST things I have EVER, EVER, seen! With barely enough time to pee during the day, these people have opened up a real life HUGE ant village from deep in the earth! Amazing.

Get the kids and the husband and watch this 3 minute video!

Monday, March 12, 2012

What Style...?

Whoever said we need to look perfect all the time should be shot.

I enjoy wearing mistmatched comfy old sweat pants and Ugg boots almost as much as I enjoy putting on a sexy dress and heels.

Course when I don 20 year old soft red sweatpants, my kids give me the evil eye, "Really? You're wearing THAT?"

In an evil sick way, that just smile more.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

What Women Vegas

It feels like Groundhog day. Yesterday I spent the day picking up after all my kids and my husband. Last night, I went to bed and woke up to the exact same messy house I was in a day earlier.

I need a trip.



I don't need an affair or a penis. I just want to be with girls (oh, uh, women now) who understand my daily 'Ugh" moments. So I emailed 4 of them the following:

I need a weekend away with girls to do the following:

1) Sit by a pool and not have to get anyone anything.
2) Eat food I don’t have to create, cook or clean.
3) Sit by a pool, play a game of scrabble (?), cards or beer pong
4) Relax and not be stressed to run to this or that, for this person or that person
5) Maybe swim in the pool (I’m willing to live dangerous) and secretly stare at men with sexy strong bodies that once used to mirror my husbands'.
6) Think thoughts I want to think (go back to #5 and remember lookinging is not cheating)
7) Maybe stare at a cloud
8) Eat, play & talk with friends about life, love and how lucky we are to have each other (as imperfect as we all are.)

It's been 3 hours. The only replies I've had are:

1) Can my husband come?
2) Can I check with my husband?
3) My husband won't let me.

Sigh....Anyone else?