Wednesday, July 28, 2010

"Yes I am...a host..."

I've been hosting for years and years....this is the last you'll hear of it from me here.

My kids have seen clips of me and don't bat an eye.  Yet on this one, they stare and ask, "Who is that talking..."  I said, "That lady your dad is married to."

"What Does a Girl Want?"

The other night I met a man who literally said, "It's horrible....I just never know what she wants!"

I said, "And have you asked her?"

He looked blankly at me, so I kept talking. "We'll tell you, you just have to ask."

I quickly added, "Oh!  Then don't forget to act like you really care what she's telling you." you think I speak from experience?  Don't we all?

Monday, July 26, 2010

"Mini-Van Lover Forever..."

Ford's CEO revealed their new SUV on the Today Show this morning.  Better fuel efficiency, better safety.....   my mind drifted to thoughts of my own family in this new SUV till the gave me the side view again.  Doors.  Basic doors.  Basic manual doors that my be user open and operated.

I imagined my younger kids, a 3 and 6 year old screaming at each other as they struggled to close the cars' back door as I waited to back out of the driveway.

I sighed. 

My current minivan's automatic doors that open and close with the single push of a button are my sanity, my lifestyle.  I can open the doors from 50 feet as my kids run ahead of me to the car.   I can open the doors from afar if the car has been sitting in the sun and will be too hot and the car needs to air out for a few minutes before we climb in.  With an arm full of groceries, kid crap or a sleeping child, no need to struggle to open a door, I just push that single easy button and the door slides open.

Nope. I'm not switching.  I can't.  With all the uncontrollable craziness in life, I'm grateful for a simple easy sanity-saving gizmo on my current van.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

"Catalogue Purchases..."

When buying a dress from a catalogue or online model photo, I always forget....

I'm buying just the dress...not the body it's on.


Monday, July 19, 2010


I was driving last month and the gum I was chewing was disgusting. I went to throw it out the window (very bad, I know) and as I was throwing it, it stuck to my finger and ricocheted somewhere inside the car.

I searched EVERYWHERE for that gum. It had vanished. Gone. Two weeks later it’s a hot day and my Mother In Law is visiting, in the car with us. When she goes to get out, she screams that someone has her hair. It's GUM. MY gum. Course my husband starts yelling at our three kids, “How many time have I told you kids, no gum!”

I put on my supportive face and nodded with him.

(Secretly giggling knowing I'll share this with them when they are 30)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

"Weird Potty time..."

It's social hour when any of my three kids need to go poo.  At 10, 6 and 3, when one sits for the job the other two will wander in and a nice kind chat or game will ensue. 

In the bathroom.

Every time it happens I advise the others to give the 'sitter' privacy but the sitter says, "No, it's okay, I want them in here."

I want to break it up and declare it weird and offensive, but it seems to be the only long chunk of time my kids are actually quiet, thoughtful and nice to each other.   So I let it be....carefully surveying from a room or two away.

Of couse as soon as the flush happens, it's business as usual.   Someone starts yelling at someone or acusing someone else of something and life is back to normal....till someone has to poo again.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

"Walking Shorty..."

I like being short.  (5'4")

Except when walking with friends.  Every time I plan a 'walking date' with others, they are always 5'8" or taller.  What am I thinking?  I must walk two to three steps for everyone one of theirs.

This morning:
They walked, I jogged. 
They talked, I gasped.
They laughed, I left.

Tomorrow is a new day.