Friday, February 26, 2010

"She Looks Good..."

"Did you see Stacey?  She looks great!"
"Um....then why are you tell ME?"

If you think someone looks good.  Tell THEM.  Chances are they don't know anyone notices.  If you think someone looks fantastic, TELL THEM.  Guy, girl, doggy....a checkout lady at the mall (I promise, they won't think you are gay...unless you are.) 

If everyone went around telling people how much they liked them, appreciated them or that they looked kids would stop thinking I'm nuts.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Not Invited

"Mom, I wasn't invited to his birthday party."
My first reaction; "Someone needs a hug."
My second reaction: "Where can I run and hide my kid to shield him from the pain I know he is having."
Six minutes later, he is laughing, talking about b-b guns, bullets and other moms allowing their kids to carry weapons and shoot small scrappy rodents.
Hmm...can we go back to not being invited to the party?


Three kids, three different crazy mom.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

"Slum Mom"

It was a cold, rainy morning when a Mom at my youngest child's preschool looked me up and down before blurting, "Why do you dress like that?"

My eyes darted around the room.  Who was she talking to?  This Mom could be Ms Perfect; At 7:40am, she has brushed hair, pretty make-up, and matching clothes.  She continued to speak as I figured out it was me she was talking to.

"I see you go to the gym every day.  You work hard!  Show it off.  Like me!"  The attractive Mom did a leap and a pose all at once.  I and everyone in the preschool laid eyes on her fabulous tennis outfit.

I was starting to go into my explaination of why I wore extra long baggy shorts (with the words "laugh your a** off" printed on the butt), a t-shirt that hung below my oversized sweatshirt and a baseball cap, but before I could speak she was already gone.

Truth is, I like looking like crap when I go to the gym.  Who am I looking good for?  Me?  Hahaha. 
If I look good all the time, when I really try, it would be old hat.  If I look horrible all of the time, when I look good....even I pause at them mirror, "Who is that?"

The bigger truth, and Oprah and her best dressed people will hate me for saying this, but as long as there isn't spinach in my teeth or a bugger hanging out my nose, I don't really care what I look like....if I wasn't so modest I'd take a photo of what I look like now!  

Monday, February 15, 2010

Bird House

The husband, Brad, barely able to open his eyes from a shameless night of drinking and dancing with his wife (me) took the kids to get food for their frog and came home with THREE birds.

Brad's only comment, “It was the only way to stop the nagging.”

Hmmm…..should've paid the kids to nag "Mommy needs a bigger diamond!  Mommy needs a bigger diamond!"

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Best Birthday

I was poked awake and asked, "Happy Birthday.  Um, can we move your birthday celebration to next month?"

Seemed like a good idea since I didn't feel like celebrating or feel ready to accept I'm another year older.
That was fine.
Let's celebrate next month.

The few friends I called to invite for a celebratory bagel all had busy mornings and wanted to move my birthday celebration to a day when they were 'more free.'
That was fine.
We'll celebrate next month, too.

My Mom forgot to call.
That was fine.
When she calls and apologizes, I will tell my birthday has been moved and she should call then.

Feeling a bit sad but still happy God has allowed me to live without too many wrinkles, I sucked it up, and tried to make my own fun by just inviting some other 'Moms' to join me for a bagel (keeping the bday thing hush-hush).  

As the Moms and I walked into the bagel shop three other girls jumped up from a table and started singing "Happy Birthday."  I almost feel over.   These girls were new friends.  Kind, wonderful, happy friends that had been calling me for an hour telling me to meet them at the bagel place.  I almost cried...of happiness and sheer embarrassment.   (I love the attention of being onstage doing comedy.  But when it comes to my day to day life, I like to hide.) 

These new friends were so happy to help me celebrate, starting with a bagel that one of them tried to buy for me, but spoke loud enough that the bagel shop owner bought my bagel and sent me over another chocolate thingee just to be nice.  I almost cried again.  How incredibly nice of a stranger???

These "new" girls are so amazing, they make me want to be like them.  They believe in celebrating anything and doing it often...even right now.  I love that.  They even met me again later in the day with a cake and ice cream.   I almost cried again. 

I once heard a lady say, "I'm not going to that event...I already have way too many friends."

Never, ever feel that way.  Each and every friend is speical in their own relationship with you.  I am always open to meeting and making more friends.  Specially as the older I get, the quicker I recognize who the really good people are...and there are so many, you just need to find them.   And once you find them, tell them and don't let them go!

Thank you to all the "CEO" face book people and fans that sent me bday emails and cards to my home.  I adore you all.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

"Mommy Money"

I am tired of begging.  I'm tired of yelling.  I'm just tired.
I can be motivated by cash....and can kids.  My kids. 
Enter the Mommy Dollar.  Recognize anyone?  Yeah, that's me.  Smirky huh?

We have daily chores and expected behaviors that earn Mommy Money or get them taken away.  (oh the tears!)  Then the dollars can be used for buying things...time on tv, time on the wii, or playing a game of their choice with Mom without other sibblings. 

Dad was mad it wasn't his face on the Daddy Dollar, but, really, when is he home to dole out the cash for a job well done.  Actually the dollars are only given out once a week at our family meeting (the only thing I am actually organized about) when we discuss the details of why they were given and/or taken away.

Mommy Money is great fun - make your own at  But be careful....think ahead how you will feel when you discover your three year old thinks Mommy looks better with a black ink moustache.  Hmmm....

"Every Day is a Gift"

 This morning after discovering a dear friend has incurable brain cancer I tearfully told my kids, "Remember, every day is a gift."
My six year old Meg said, "Where's MY present?"

Thursday, February 04, 2010

"School Birthday"

As I walked into my youngest kids' classroom, I noticed all the little tables were covered in cute mini bowls of various candies and fruit and a smiling Mom ran around flipping pancakes and serving them onto teeny tiny plastes.  I'm sure my mouth dropped as I realized, this "Mom-Incredible" brought her own electric pan...from home...out of her cupboard...into her car, and drove it to the pre-school to make 22 three-year-olds gourmet pancakes.  

I dug back deep into my memory bank?  Did I ever go to such lengths to celebrate any of my kids birthday's.... at school...or hmmmm...even at home?  

This no-notice birthday celebration was better than those we get mailed invitations for...and we didn't have to bring a gift.

Looking over this Mom's spread of energy and care I had two thougths;
1) Am I jealous that I could try harder to be the SuperMom everyone else is?
2) Am I just so happy I have a kid in HER kids class?
Yes, you are right. 
#2....Martha Jr. I am not.   But I am insanely grateful to be included (or just there) when someone else goes the extra mile...or four.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Dare Devil Mom

As I watch my kids try to launch themselves off a bike ramp, I realize they get their advernturesome from me.  Then again, I think I'm a Dare Devil when I press snooze on the alarm clock.
Do you Buy a Sink Grate?

Just a sink thought: Everyone always said that I needed to buy one of those sink protectors in your new's like a giant metal grate. I think they call them Sink Grates. I didn't get one and every day i go to do the dishes I am so happy when the dishes are out and the sink is completely clean. When I've been to other homes and set something on that metal grate 'protecting' their sink, the whole thing just looks dirty and messy. Sure the sink below will be perfect in 10 years, but who wants to be cleaning and messing with that disgusting grate where food and gunk catches in it and your end up scrubbing the nooks and crannys in the GRATE to get IT clean. Yuck. I'm quite happy that I save my money and blew off those sink grates. My sink has scrates, but who cares, it's a sink for god's sake, it's supposed to look like a sink...and not like some silver platter I'm showing off. I live here.  By the way....the only thing I ever show off are my TEETH.  Cause I brush them and so love to smile.

Happy Tuesday...oh, today Wednesday?  Hmm