Monday, November 29, 2010

Why Glass Coasters Suck...

"Don't put down the glass! Get a coaster!"

It was just a cup of water. But I guess the 'sweat' from the ice and water can make that forever staying ring. And if you own the table, I get it, go coaster crazy all you want!

I grabbed one of the pretty glass coasters. Then I set my plastic cup on the glass coaster…in the middle…just in case.

When I looked back, it was as if my glass went to the bathroom....the glass coaster was covered with water and the table, the precious wood table was now home to a puddle my sweaty glass created.

Quickly and quietly I grabbed some tissues, pretended to sneeze and nonchalantly mopped up the flowing 'sweat.'

I then stared down the glass coaster with evil eyes, wondering why it failed to do its job! Then I realized….Dah. It's GLASS. Glass doesn't soak. Glass looks nice but it won't protect a table.

So therefore dear people, I put upon you to answer: "Why use glass coasters?"

My second question: “Why even have a fragile table that makes you weird ‘Coaster Enforcer’?

Sunday, November 28, 2010

IHop Pancake House...My Love Remains Solid

While on vacation, if you gotta choose to one meal a day to eat out, don't be stupid.  Pick "dinner." Dinner is the hardest to prepare, while breakfast is a snap: cereal, pancakes, sausage, oatmeal....all require little effort and mini cleanup. Which is why we rarely even think of going out for breakfast...that is, till we've eaten everything and have no choice but to find food outside.

Restaurant of choice? IHop. Why? Three reasons: Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes.

The pancakes are heavenly and their skinny link sausage (you are either a sausage: fat link or skinny) are so divine I begin to calculate how late the kids would be to school if we added IHop into our daily routine.

Today, ohhhh, when I ordered the cheap boring 2 eggs, links and hash browns...I was offered a seasonal extra!  A choice; and let me tell you people, our mouths, eyes and stomachs ached at the sight and value.  I got to add, for FREE, um hm, free, one of the following: an apple crepe, banana bread French Toast or Pecan pancakes.

Cheap & Delicious?  I think I died.

I chose the middle and all five of us fought over who got to put their fork into the delight next.

Thank you IHop for keeping a pancake so delicious, I refuse to even try to make it at home.

Flying Again...

I used to fly all the time. Had top privileges on two of the best airlines for a few years before I packed in the suitcase for three kids. Today, when I fly, no one remembers my once great 'loyalty' and I'm back to being just garbage.

Thank goodness all my flying happened prior to 9-11. Every time I fly now, I think of that day and how trying to keep us safe is making people stupid. My kids weren't born or don't have a memory of what flying was like before and I guess that is they don't feel the need to roll their eyes when a TSA person asks something they believe to be ridiculous.

Not a fan of country unless it's about some lover that got revenge with time or death. But if you are flying soon....this Buck Howdy guy gives a nice view on what's to come before your flight. And if you aren't flying but into some success on YouTube, do something like this and people like me will notice and share.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Why I Love Thanksgiving Week

Ever since our school system decided to close schools for the week (cause with families going awol early on long vacations, the schools lost too much money) this has become my favorite week with my family.

Beause it's not long and hairy like Christmas break or the when-will-it-end Summer Break, Thanksgiving week is perfect. 

While I know we should be packing it in to travel somewhere hip and exotic...I kinda like being able to enjoy the nothingness of the week. 

And I do mean nothing.  Daily we get up and stay in our jammies till noon or even (I know) the next day.  (that's a great day).   We eat when we feel like it, snack when we feel like it, shower when Mom says, "You smell." 

Best part:  No rushing to school, no driving to a zillion practices, no playdates, no missed appointments, and my personal favorite; no homework.   It's a chance to be together and remember how much we love each other and relax in our own home, play with toys we had to have but never touched, open that paint kit we forgot we had, have 'game night' five days in a row...and talk and laugh and just hang out as a family.   


Then just at the point when I begin to pull at my hair and wonder who raised my children to be so's time to go back to school.  Everyone agrees it's was a great HOME vacation!  And the timing?  What a perfect break!  

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Thursday, November 18, 2010 for one?

"I have a serious question.  Be honest."

I was intrigued and nervous.  I hoped she wasn't going to ask me if her butt was too big because it wasn't.... and just to be funny, I'd have to lie.

My dear friend, Sadie, started to talk about Thanksgiving, a holiday I dread since we live in an area with no "built-in" family and each year, wondering what we're going to do on the big holiday (Will we be invited somewhere?  Will someone want to come to our house for dinner?) is sad and depressing. 

This year with no invitations and a fear of cooking/burning a turkey, Sadie suggested she'd make a turkey and her family would just come to our house.  I was so happy.  We'd have guests and I wouldn't need Dominos-Pizza on speed-dial.

Since then, I've invited other friends who felt empty and lost at the prospect of being alone on Thanksgiving.  Which leads me to Sadies phone call and her request, "My friends don't have family in town and I was wondering--"

I didn't let her finish, "Do you want to invite them for Thanksgiving?"

"Well, I don't want--"

"Sadie!  Do you want them to come to dinner?"

"Well...if you are okay--"

"What's her phone number?"

"Are you going to call them?  Oh no, let me call her first...."

"Sadie, she'll be coming to my house, I want to make sure she knows she's invited and what better way to do that then call her myself.  What's her number?"

I hung up and called this new friend and introduced myself and then invited her to our home for Thanksgiving dinner.  She said yes, her family would love to come.

Next, I called my husband and told him about our added guests.  He operates like me, "Hey, what's a few more?"

All this reminds me of Thanksgiving dinner 1996.  When I asked a relative, "Hey, that nice lady on your corner didn't her husband die?  She's all alone this Thanksgiving.  Why don't we invite her to come down for dinner?"

I will never forget the response she gave me, "My table only seats 8.  I don't have enough chairs."

In truth, we could have pulled up a stool or (don't gasp) a 'different' patterned chair.  All people care about on Thanksgiving is that they feel loved and accepted.  It's so simple and easy. 

And in our home, there will always be a seat at our table for anyone wanting to come be thankful with us on this holiday and all holidays. 

I hope you are the joyous light for someone else this holiday.

Husband Duty

The past 2 nights I promised my husband, who goes to bed early, that I'd wake him up when I climbed in.  Being too tired and well lazy, I haven't. 

Tonight is our weekly 'date night' and laying in bed this morning, I had a hilarious idea! Before dinner I'd take him to a remote place and have a little "sex in the car." I was excited for him in my plot to surprise him, smiling as I mentally mapped out all the acrobatic things I would do to him. 

Then I climbed out of bed.  Walking to the bathroom, the after-effects of almost being 40 reminded me I'm no longer in shape to perform in Cirque du Soleil and that my body, when able, likes bending and stretching in comfy places, not the car, not the floor or sometimes not even a gym mat. 

So...maybe I'll just share with him what I was thinking over dinner.  The mere fact I was thinking about such out of the box adventures has gotta give me some points!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Be The Better Friend

Ever have a friend that did something rude or awful to you that was so shocking instead of going to them with, "Ah...did you know you behaved badly and really hurt my feelings...?" You kept it inside, hoped it would go away, worked itself out or moved to a foreign city?

Last week, after a big 'Rah-Rah" from the husband, I met face to face with a lady who once took my heart and smashed my feelings through a meat grinder.

Why did I reach out to her for peace after she hurt me? 1) Because life is too short to worry. 2) Our kids are friends. and 3) if I have to keep seeing this woman without a heart-to-heart, I'm destined for cardiac arrest.

Was it hard to meet with her? "Horrid" is better than "hard." Conflicts suck. But if you face them head-on with an open mind and matter what the result, you win because you cared enough to try.

How did it end? My internal organs thanked me, as did my husband who saw what that stress did to my usually happy demeanor.

What will be of the old friendship? My goal was to clear the air. Now that it's cleared, there is room for the start of a new that will start with two people now carrying fresh secret tools to unlocking the wisdom of how to live life honestly.

And if our friendship doesn't'll be her fault!

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Reason to Have A Party

"I can't have a party...I need new curtains...the walls need new paint....or maybe we just need a new house..."

The holiday season is upon us and so are the fun parties.  Every year a dear friend of mine complains she wants to have a party but can't because her house is a mess.  Really?  No one cares what your home looks like.  (unless it's a distaser in which case you'll make them feel better about their own place)  All people care about is that you chose them to be on your guest list! 

If you keep thinking of all the reasons why you can't have a'll never have one.  Mabye start thinking of all the reasons why you CAN.  Here I'll help:

1) Four walls, a floor, a bathroom and a refridgerator.

2) Fiends you like but never see or have time to talk to cause you're so busy.

3) People will come to your party because they want to see you...not the house, the curtains or even the dog stained rug.  They come for you.

Odds are, fifty years from now you're not going to be around make sure you have fun before it's too late.

In the meantime....get planning.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

The Dangers Of Voting

I dropped off all my kids and headed straight to my voting location.

I parked my car, chatted with the local neighbor volunteers, voted, chatted again and returned to my car.

I opened the door, sat in my seat, closed the door, put my keys in the ignition when I noticed a book on the floor.  Funny.  How did that get there?  Then I looked at the passenger seat and saw a stack of items I knew I didn't put in my car. A tingle of fear began to settle in me as fast as I realized,
"OHMIGOSH...I'm in someone else's car!"

I quickly opened the door and jumped out, embarrassed someone would run from the polling office screaming, "That's my car!" And I'd end up in jail for not paying attention.

No one saw.  In fact I kinda wished someone played witness to this hilarious scene.  But I had a giggle realizing I can't remember where I parked my car but I can tell you the times, activities and everything my three kids ingested into their bodies the past three years.

Ah, the dangers of voting.
If you go out careful.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Call Me Paranoid

I guess I am overprotective.  I do worry about my kids getting abducted or stolen....pretty time they aren't in my eyesight.

I give them more freedom than the average mom, but when it comes to walking solo to a store or a friend's house, I nix the idea unless they have an escort and even then, I still worry.

Another mom once laughed at me, "Laurie, you are so paranoid."

Yes.  It's true.  I laugh.  I joke.  I poke fun at everything.  But my kids' safety is high priority.

Then her next comment, "Only 1 in a four million get stolen every year."

I looked at her.  "Yes.  But what if it was YOUR kid?   That one.  What if it was yours?"

I don't care if it was one in a trillion, this is one lottery I do not want to win.

"Little Kids Are Annoying to Who?"

I was at Starbucks and two mothers and their three little girls were sitting next to me.  Not a quiet bunch, I ignored them for the first ten minutes.  Suddenly the girls started running in circles, first around their table, next around all the tables.

It was funny to immediately see heads turn looking to judge and blame the owners of these loose wild kids. 

Then I saw an older couple looking at the children with eyes of wonder and compassion.  They smiled and laughed each time the girls passed their table.  At one point the older woman started clapping, almost cheering them on.

Because they get it.  The older you get, the wiser you become.  (Don't get me wrong, there are a ton of wise old crabby people...but they have a choice.)

The next time you see children playing loudly, maybe instead of being the negative crab who judges and sneers....think of the moment as a gift to try and remember a time when you enjoyed your own life as much.

This is life, you only get one.