Cub Scouts? It’s all really so complicated…I’ve been behind since my 9 year old started.

He’s crying weekly cause, “YOU’RE the only mom who doesn’t know what’s going on!!!”
I’m like, “you spend 2 hours there at these meetings – how come YOU don’t know either?”

It’s sooo confusing and they explain nothing to the parents.
All the parents say, “well you have to read the handbook…”

WHEN!!?!?!?!?!?!!? With three kids, a remodel and a husband that has to work 80 hours a day, I have yet to read my People magazine, backed up since October of '07. And why do “I” have to read it??? He’s in the group, not me.

I want to go back to him only in sports. NO reading for Mom, just fly balls and lots of cheering!

The other day Ty was sad from some mean kids and school and you overheard us…and Meg said, “NO! Ty can’t be sad….Today is happy Day!” I said, “he’s sad about something from school.” Meg said, “He CAN’T be sad today, today is happy day!” Meg was adamant and silent for 2 seconds before she said, “My teacher said so!” Then a pause and then, “It was ON the calendar!”

Yesterday my car started shaking (my brand new 8 month old sienna, a $45,000 car) and all the lights on the dashboard started flashing like a blinking xmas tree. Took it in (after arguing with the guy who said he couldn’t see me till Monday but that I could rent a car from them) and they saw me right away and gave me a rental for free. A bit later they called to tell me that my car was infested with RATS. Yeah, rats. They built a home under my engine and ate all the padding out of the engine and about 30 wires. They said I was lucky the car didn’t start fire and kill me or us.
While I was on the phone with Toyota Roc was running and fell smashing his lip into a piece of his T-ball set he was holding in his mouth (lovely), while I was dealing with that and avoiding hanging up with Toyota, Brad walks in and says, “Where’s Ty’s basketball uniform, he has photos in 15 minuts.” They were in the wash – WET. Needless to say, we all went to the basketball photos in Brad Prius, while Roc bled and Ty had to wear wet clothes. Oh well.

I ran back to my car to get a pen, stepped out of my passenger door, shut it and stepped into an afternoon that left me helpless and embarrassed. I was at an audition for...something...and when I was done I went to my car, reached for my keys and they were gone. Retracing my steps I tried not to panic. That HAD to be somewhere. I checked the bathroom (where I peed and washed up) under the toilets, under the sink, on the ceiling, they weren't there.
Where were they???
Gone.
Maybe they were in the audition room. UGH. As an actress you don't want the director/agents to know the chick they may want to hire is an idiot, but I asked anyway knowing I lost the chance for the job, therefore wasting my day even coming to this audition.
The husband was too busy to come get me and AAA said they'd take me home but it would cost me $200.
I hate losing things. I prayed to St. Anythony (cause that's what Cathlics do when they lose crap) but I was so mad that they were lost I couldn't concentrate.
Four hours later my husband met me at the local costco where the tow guy dropped me and my locked car off.
The next day I dropped my kids off at school walked in with my spare set of keys and went back out to the car to get my groceries.
The door was locked! That panic feeling took over and I started to feel that sick "I am retarded" feeling I had all day yesterday.
I sat on the couch and tried to pray to St. A again. "CONCENTRATE!" Half way between panic and hell I couldn't even hold a thought about anything except where are my keys.
I retraced my steps slowly and before I knew it tears came flowing and I was crying and laughing at the same time. I checked behind units, cabinets, the cat box, nothing.
"Cindy, I need her eyes!" I called my buddy to come help me get out of this mess and she arrived with calmness and patience. I hugged her and cried all over again, "It's just my keys!" I shouted angry at myself for being such a mess.
"You're building a house, you have three kids, this is a tough time, we'll find them..."
Just then I looked up at where my phone is and there they were. They slid between the phone cabinet at the vaccuum cleaner.
I sat down sick again, "They weren't there when I looked before."
There was something weird going on! How could my keys NOT be there and then be there later, when I was the only one home? Is St. Anthony messing with me?
Hmm... Least I got my keys back.

Building a house is hard. Building a house with 3 kids in tow is even harder. Ty wants to throw dirt on anything that looks nice, Meg wants to do gymnastics on all the hanging beams, and Roc wants to eat nails. He is forced to throw back the ones he collect each trip and screams the whole way to the car, forcing me to ask, "What am I doing?"

But unlike most moms, I'm the mom that says, 'Shop at Costco with the 3 of my kids? Sure. I can do anything." Then half way through our costco trip, I'm ready to lose my mind. Specially when I only need three things but must stroll through the whole store so we can stop at every sample station (four times) where the working ladies think I must not feed my children and come to costco for the complimentary food. (There is some thruth to that; why go at 10am when the samples aren't set up yet, when we can go later at snack for free?)

Dinners and lunches and snacks are whatever is on hand. Like last week I think my kids ate pretzels and apples dipped in peanut butter (they'll eat anything if they can 'dip' it) for lunch and dinner. My friend Silvia mentioned to my son, Ty, that her kids get pancakes, egg sandwiches and french toast for breakfast on school days, feeling guilty when she must give her kids cereal on days they are rushed. That's all my kids get for breakfast, cereal. And sometimes there's a comment and a loathy sigh, "Wonder what Silvia is feeding her kids this morning?" To which I ingore the comment and then it's followed by a "Don't you feel guilty mom?" Then I laugh and have to tackle him, reminding him that at least he's getting fed.

Course I do think of Silvia and wonder how I can fit driving my her house in my morning routine to see if she can feed us all.

HOUSE: This is a photo of the gound we are moving around to make a house. This is also a photo of what has taken over my mental statability of being a normal Mom/chick with three kids.

Currently we (2 adults, 3 kids and a cat we don't see till the sun goes down) live in 650 square feet. My husband, Brad, calls it "camping." I call it, "least I don't have to clean a window, scrub a floor, or fix a door." (not like I did that when we OWNED a house before.)

We should be moving into the dirt and wood by March 2009. Hopefully I'll still be alive by then.

This is the face of a kid 5 minutes before she is to perform on stage in front of other parents and kids there to only watch their offspring, 20 minutes after a crying fit and 20.5 minutes before I told her she had to wear her hair in that goofy pink thing.

Don't know the guy. he's shocked and then yelled at me that I wasn't to be back 'here' cause he wants to charge me 80$ for a photo I cannot afford.

That was a fun 3 hours.

When I was 10 I'd look at the clock and watch the clock slowly tick and tick.
Today I wake up at 7 and look at the clock and it's 6pm.
Where the hell does the day go?

Things I learned (What no one will tell you) about selling your home:

1) People come to open houses not because they want to buy it, but because they have nothing else to do, want to fantize about living in a house, or get a thrill out of stealing crap while your realator is on the phone.

2) Realators don't like to work.

3) Realators make you work.

4) Different smelling candles in different rooms will make buyers dizzy and sick in your clean bathroom.

5) Keeping your home 'open house ready' 24-hours a day will send the sweetest of Mothers into a obnoxious tantrum upon seeing the tiniest of crumbs on the floor.

6) Burying a St. Joseph statue on your front lawn will only help a sale if a dog leaves it alone. If a dog does discover it, he'll think it's a toy and dig it up leaving a huge pile of dirt where lovely grass used to lay.

7) If you pick a new realator and he mistakenly lists your house for 120K less than what you decided on, when you fix the mistake, agents will call and say mean things to you and therefore won't show your home to any of their clients.

8) If you hire a photographer to take photos of your home after you've had the carpets clean and the carpets are still wet, if you don't make the photo guy take off his shoes, he'll track mud all over your stairs. If you make him take off his shoes, make sure he doesn't walk on your dirty outside patio or his socks will collect the dirt and when he walks on the wet carpet you will see 15 solid black foot prints behind him as he walks toward you. If he does this, just make sure there is a pillow nearby to catch you because you will faint, pass out of vomit on the spot.

9) If you decide on having a listing sign on your front lawn, make sure your agent knows you want a sign that people will be able to SEE. Make sure you tell him /her that you do not want a sign people can only read if they park their car, get out, walk over to your property and stand on your grass to see and/or read the sign.

10) If you decide to sell your home and it's not selling right away, don't watch the Home and Garden Channel while channel surfing on a Friday night. If you do, you may wake up Saturday morning and have an urge to visit Home Depot and spend $800 you don't have on flowers that will die the day before your next open house.

The biggest lesson I learned: If you have to sell your house, the week after you list your home, get it ready, then: leave. Go to Palm Springs, the mountains or your mother's. If you go, make sure you stay for at least three weeks (or till the house sells) and let your husband or realator deal with the stress of selling your home. While you are gone all you have to do is hang out at the pool, the mall or the beach and watch your children enjoy their summer days like you once lived, without a care in the world.