Sunday, September 27, 2009

"Can a Demon be five?"

Her eyes gloss over, her back arches and I think I hear her hissing.

Every morning (no, I'm not exaggerating) my five year old daughter behaves so horrible, so odd, so out of character from who she is during the rest of the day, I want to ask her, "Did you sleep with Satan?"

Instead I dream of calling that Nanny TV show where they send out the lady with the british accent (I want one of those) who will fix my daughter and get our lives back to normal. but then I'd have to be on TV as one of the 'bad' moms that everyone judges and decides she's the point of the problem. NO. I won't be calling Nanny lady.

Where did I go wrong? How did I end up with a child that whines instead of speaks. Her younger brother will talk his way through any upset moment, yet princess Meg, will yell, "Ahnn!" and point. Lines like, "Hellen Keller, knock it off!" never get a laugh from my under age nine audience. So I resort to sending her to "quiet time" in the garage where we keep an abundance of smelly lizards and fish, my son calls 'pets,' so she can feed them, take a breath and relax. It works....for like three minutes, then she's back to hissing.

Then again, from what I heard about the teen years, I'll take the hissing any day.

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